Don’t get me wrong, I love the build up to Christmas. The parties, the Doctor Who Christmas special, the fact that its the 25 days of the year when its socially acceptable to listen to Mariah Carey but as I get older and older I find myself turning more and more into a Grinch.
However, it’s not because my heart is too sizes too small it’s more that the whole process has lost its shine.
I know you’re supposed to wake up on Christmas Day full of excitement and expectation but I’ve always found it rather boring. I’m grateful for the presents that I receive but I can’t help but think that I don’t really need them and my parents can’t really afford to give them to me. Maybe I’m just getting less and less materialistic as I get older but I’ve never really seen the point in gift giving if its just used as a mechanism to wrangle something expensive out of my parents that you’d be too tight to buy yourself. I always struggle to write a Christmas list for my family (my younger sister on the other hand has no difficulty) because I can’t really think of things that I really want. I have an Amazon/Topshop wish list as long as your arm but I can’t quite bring myself to actually request anything from anyone. I’ve always thought that the satisfaction of getting something you want is partly how you get it and I’ve always liked buying things with my own money. Then again I’ve always wanted to be ridiculously independent.
I do like giving gifts- to selected people of course. I’m not sure why really considering that most of the year I’m not a particularly generous person, maybe I’m just the embodiment of the mawkish cliché they always try to ram down your throat about the importance of giving at this time of year....I doubt it.
Then there is the food. I’m a sort of vegetarian (sort of) and hate eating meat as does my mother so there goes the whole concept of Christmas lunch. I’ve never exactly been a big foodie anyway and on Christmas Day I’d be perfectly happy with a sandwich which probably sounds horrifically sad. I just don’t understand people’s desire to eat so much they feel sick. Having said that I do love Christmas cake and Mince Pies.
Snow looks pretty whilst it swishing outside your window but in an old, badly heated student house frostbite isn’t so appealing. This time of year always depresses me because I hate how dark, gloomy and cold everything gets. It because its the metaphorical ‘death’ stage of the natural cycle so therefore everything is so lifeless and dull. I don’t see what’s so magical and cosy about that. Then of course there is the fact that the snow in Birmingham is so pathetic that it’ll snow overnight, melt during the morning and refreeze as ice as soon as it gets dark so someone who is of a more clumsy persuasion (i.e. me) will slip and break their neck. I haven't broken anything (touch wood) but I definitely have a few bruises.
I don’t hate Christmas at all, I guess I’m just incredibly jaded about the whole thing, as each year passes it just gets further and further away from the fun and excitement of Christmas when I was six or seven. Of course, when I was six or seven I was celebrating Christmas in California where there was a lot less chance of slipping on ice.
I have no idea if this post makes sense, its late and I can feel a cold coming (another thing I hate about this weather). Maybe I should give this stream-of-consciousness style another think.
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