Why do you seem to be under the impression that providing the internet connection that I pay you for is optional?
Would you feel the same if I decided paying you was optional?
Because spending my evenings on the phone to your Indian call centre workers rather than getting on with my work or with my life even.
So after two weeks of a broken laptop I finally bring it home and connect it to the internet. It is running excruciatingly slowly then all of a sudden the internet connection disappears completely.
And hasn't returned for the past five hours. Apparently the router is buggered.
Such is my life.
Monday 30 January 2012
Friday 27 January 2012
Wednesday 4 January 2012
What I Have (Erroneously) Learnt From Disney Movies
Disney has a hell of a lot to answer for. They are probably eighty per cent responsible for my world view as a child and probably still twenty per cent effective still. This is essentially what I believed aged five:
1) Men with hairy chest and muddy, heavy boots are far too virile to be up too any good, next thing you know they'll gather an angry mob to kill your friends when you dump them (Gaston).
2) That as long as you're a nice, friendly and benevolent anthropomorphic lion than its ok to not be able 'to wait to be king'.
3) Never trust girls called Vanessa (aka Ursula's alter alias when trying to steal Eric away from Ariel by stealing her voice).
4) Mice can be servants and friends rather than household pests (my Ornithophobia held fast on the birds as friends question however).
5) That an evil sea witch had stolen my beautiful singing voice and left me tone deaf (clue: I was just tone deaf).
6) That it was possible to have naturally occurring fire engine red hair (you ain't foolin' nobody Ariel, Nice 'N' Easy perhaps?)
7) Boys called 'Eric' are wusses.
8) That everyone should have their own Robin Williams voiced Genie.
9) That if you didn't have dainty (and small) feet like Cinderella you were an Ugly Stepsister.
10) Snow White was a wuss.
11) That Pocohontas was a perfectly acceptable name for my soon to be new born sister (and telling my entire kindergarten class that it will be the case).
12) That the 'belly out' Jasmine look was a good idea.
13) That girls that read books and want adventures are cool.
What I still believe (and what proved to be correct):
1) Snow White was a wuss (and potentially a bit easy given she went off to the Prince's castle without any form of drink buying at the end).
2) That Pocohontas is a perfectly acceptable nickname for my fifteen year old sister.
3) That apart from Aladdin, nearly every boy in a Disney movie is a bit of a wuss.
4)That girls that read books and want adventures are cool.
5)That everyone should have their own Robin Williams voiced Genie.
6)To see a sea witch about a singing voice if I ever think about entering any reality talent show (not that I would anyway).
7)Never trust girls called Vanessa.
Next time: What I have erroneously learnt from Gossip Girl.
1) Men with hairy chest and muddy, heavy boots are far too virile to be up too any good, next thing you know they'll gather an angry mob to kill your friends when you dump them (Gaston).
2) That as long as you're a nice, friendly and benevolent anthropomorphic lion than its ok to not be able 'to wait to be king'.
3) Never trust girls called Vanessa (aka Ursula's alter alias when trying to steal Eric away from Ariel by stealing her voice).
4) Mice can be servants and friends rather than household pests (my Ornithophobia held fast on the birds as friends question however).
5) That an evil sea witch had stolen my beautiful singing voice and left me tone deaf (clue: I was just tone deaf).
6) That it was possible to have naturally occurring fire engine red hair (you ain't foolin' nobody Ariel, Nice 'N' Easy perhaps?)
7) Boys called 'Eric' are wusses.
8) That everyone should have their own Robin Williams voiced Genie.
9) That if you didn't have dainty (and small) feet like Cinderella you were an Ugly Stepsister.
10) Snow White was a wuss.
11) That Pocohontas was a perfectly acceptable name for my soon to be new born sister (and telling my entire kindergarten class that it will be the case).
12) That the 'belly out' Jasmine look was a good idea.
13) That girls that read books and want adventures are cool.
What I still believe (and what proved to be correct):
1) Snow White was a wuss (and potentially a bit easy given she went off to the Prince's castle without any form of drink buying at the end).
2) That Pocohontas is a perfectly acceptable nickname for my fifteen year old sister.
3) That apart from Aladdin, nearly every boy in a Disney movie is a bit of a wuss.
4)That girls that read books and want adventures are cool.
5)That everyone should have their own Robin Williams voiced Genie.
6)To see a sea witch about a singing voice if I ever think about entering any reality talent show (not that I would anyway).
7)Never trust girls called Vanessa.
Next time: What I have erroneously learnt from Gossip Girl.
Tuesday 3 January 2012
'But I Don't Wanna Grow Up!'
I hate responsibility.
I do not like having to look after myself and sort out stupid things like money and my future, why can I not tell someone what I want and have them do it for me? Is that too much to ask?
I'd rather flout around in my usual overly dramatic way absorbed in my usual exenstential crises and uni work panics without having anything to do with this 'reality' business.
I mean, its a nice place, but you wouldn't want to live there.
I do not like having to look after myself and sort out stupid things like money and my future, why can I not tell someone what I want and have them do it for me? Is that too much to ask?
I'd rather flout around in my usual overly dramatic way absorbed in my usual exenstential crises and uni work panics without having anything to do with this 'reality' business.
I mean, its a nice place, but you wouldn't want to live there.
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