I hate it.
I really hate it.
I don't even know what to say here. I have a few ideas for articles but when I tryto write...nothing.
I have a mountain of work to do for uni as well but all I want is a nap.
I'm not even reading the news at the moment.
Thursday 24 November 2011
Friday 4 November 2011
Choice and all its Consequences
So I'm a fairly indecisive person.
I don't like decisions because being a naturally insecure person I always think I'll make the wrong one. Particularly as I've made some clangers in my life, especially in the last year.
Therefore the end of university is a particularly daunting. I never took a gap year and I was always so desperate to leave home from about thirteen onwards it was never a question about whether or not I wanted to go to university. I have very little entrepreneurial sense and despite dabbling in a Drama GCSE I never had an inclination to follow the cliched 'getting the bus to Big City to fulfill my dreams' path. Especially when its not really my dream to have strangers staring me on a stage or screen every night. I'm one of those weird people who don't like being in the spotlight; they'd rather give those who are the words to say.
I also thought university would be a good way to avoid the 'what do I want to do with my life' question.
However, now that my stay of execution is almost over and I'm being forced to face the question I've been avoiding the past twenty one years.
And to add insult to injury now I have more choices than I did three years ago. Although admittedly most of them involve money I don't have.
Even with this recession which probably likely to doom us all for all eternity if the Guardian is to be believed I could go into any industry that accommodates slightly temperamental creative types.
That is if the recession ever ends mind.
With all these options therefore it makes more difficult to make a decision and has been almost giving me nightmares these past few months. However, now that I've reached the grand old age of 21 I'm feeling a lot more zen about it.
I'm old now, there is no avoiding it. As my darling sister pointed out I'm halfway to 42 and a third of the way to 63. Now that the flower of my youth is wilting I'm less worried about the future. I've lost a bit of the mad rush to make a decision. The beauty of having choice is that you can wait and see what you feel like.
Going back to Harrogate doesn't seem so terrible anymore. Of course its still a town that believes that the introduction of a Tesco will bring doom to us all but its a pleasant and safe enough place to mull things.
Hope I won't have to do so much work experience as well.
I don't like decisions because being a naturally insecure person I always think I'll make the wrong one. Particularly as I've made some clangers in my life, especially in the last year.
Therefore the end of university is a particularly daunting. I never took a gap year and I was always so desperate to leave home from about thirteen onwards it was never a question about whether or not I wanted to go to university. I have very little entrepreneurial sense and despite dabbling in a Drama GCSE I never had an inclination to follow the cliched 'getting the bus to Big City to fulfill my dreams' path. Especially when its not really my dream to have strangers staring me on a stage or screen every night. I'm one of those weird people who don't like being in the spotlight; they'd rather give those who are the words to say.
I also thought university would be a good way to avoid the 'what do I want to do with my life' question.
However, now that my stay of execution is almost over and I'm being forced to face the question I've been avoiding the past twenty one years.
And to add insult to injury now I have more choices than I did three years ago. Although admittedly most of them involve money I don't have.
Even with this recession which probably likely to doom us all for all eternity if the Guardian is to be believed I could go into any industry that accommodates slightly temperamental creative types.
That is if the recession ever ends mind.
With all these options therefore it makes more difficult to make a decision and has been almost giving me nightmares these past few months. However, now that I've reached the grand old age of 21 I'm feeling a lot more zen about it.
I'm old now, there is no avoiding it. As my darling sister pointed out I'm halfway to 42 and a third of the way to 63. Now that the flower of my youth is wilting I'm less worried about the future. I've lost a bit of the mad rush to make a decision. The beauty of having choice is that you can wait and see what you feel like.
Going back to Harrogate doesn't seem so terrible anymore. Of course its still a town that believes that the introduction of a Tesco will bring doom to us all but its a pleasant and safe enough place to mull things.
Hope I won't have to do so much work experience as well.
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